How small acts of kindness toward yourself can create big shifts

Self-love gets a lot of buzz, but it’s not always easy to put into practice. My inner voice is often my toughest critic, quick to replay mistakes or point out flaws.
I like to remind my clients (and myself) to treat ourselves with the same compassion we’d offer a good friend. Imagine what could shift if you extended that same kindness inward.
But self-love isn’t about chasing perfection or feeling amazing all the time. It’s about showing up for yourself, even when it’s hard.
Here are three ways to create a self-love practice that actually works:
1. Speak to Yourself Like a Friend
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself. Would you use those same words with someone you care about?
When you catch yourself being overly critical, try pausing and reframing. Instead of “I can’t believe I messed that up,” try, “It’s okay—I’m learning and growing.”
2. Tune In To What You Need
Self-love also means recognizing what you need and giving yourself permission to honor it. Whether it’s taking a break, calling a friend, or spending some time alone, your needs matter.
Try checking in with yourself regularly by asking, “What do I need right now?” Then follow through without guilt–it’s not selfish to care for yourself.
3. Celebrate the Small Wins
You don’t have to wait for a major milestone to acknowledge yourself. Celebrate the small victories, like navigating through a tough day or trying something new.
One of my coaches introduced me to a simple practice: I write down something I’m proud of–big or small–and drop it into a jar. When I need a confidence boost, I revisit those notes. Over time, it’s shifted my focus from what’s “wrong” to what’s worth appreciating.
Self-love isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a process. The more you make space for kindness, patience, and care, the stronger and more grounded you’ll feel. Showing up for yourself, even in small ways, can make all the difference.
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